This is my munchkin.  The one that I love more than I ever imagined I could. The one that I am fiercely protective of. The one that sneaks into my bed at night because he wants to snuggle.  The one that tells me he loves me about 100 times a day.

This is my munchkin.  The one that will look me straight in the eye and tell me that he cleaned his room when he didn't. The one that tells me I'm not his friend when I don't let him play Mario Kart.  This is the munchkin that barfed in my ear while I was sleeping.  

Please don't ever let your munchkin barf in your ear while you're sleeping.  I can guarantee you won't like it.

Life can be a bully.

Life punched me in the face this week. Dazed and confused, I looked around wondering what happened, when life sucker punched me in the gut. I fell to the ground in agony where finally ended the beating with a swift and painful kick to the teeth.

I got a phone call this week from my son’s school. They told me something that no parent should ever have to hear. Determined to remain calm, I sat down with my little guy and asked him what happened. The story he told me made me want to vomit, it made me want to scream, gnash my teeth and punch a wall. It made me want to hug my son tightly while I sobbed and never let him go. I did none of these things. Well I did hug him, I told him that I loved him, I let him play Mario Kart on the Wii and I went to my room and cried where he wouldn’t see me.

The rest of the week was spent getting emergency visits to therapists, talking to different individuals at his school including his teacher, the director and several aides.

My son will be fine – the therapist seems to think that this will not come back to haunt him later in life. I however am pretty sure that I am permanently scarred from my beating. I will not have the blind sense of safety and trust that I had before. Last night my husband, son and I went out to dinner. I had a large glass of wine (maybe it was two glasses). When I put my son to bed he asked if I would snuggle with him. We fell asleep snuggled up on his twin bed. When I woke up at 11, I knew that I needed to get to my own bed or suffer the consequences of a terrible night’s sleep and a sore back in the morning but I stayed there a few minutes more because I didn’t want to let him go.

Oh – did I mention that two family members are in the hospital (one here and one in Australia)? And that another family member is deciding whether or not to get radiation for his tongue cancer now that they’ve cut his tongue out completely? And that my husband just got notice that his company is cutting every employee’s salary by 10%? And that I found out on Friday that I will spend most of April away from home on business?

It’s a beautiful sunny day this morning so my husband, son and I will get outside, take a hike in the foothills and take lots of deep breaths. We are a team of three and no one is going to fuck with us.

Thumbsucker

Have you ever seen the movie Thumbsucker? If not, I highly recommend it… It’s about a teenage kid who has a thumbsucking habit. After going through all sorts of different attempts to stop including; hypnosis, Ritalin, and smoking pot he goes to see his dentist. The dentist talks to him and lets him know that thumb sucking is not a medically debilitating problem, that everyone has their own flaws, and nobody has all the answers; in fact, learning to live without having the answers might actually BE the answer. He finally relaxes, accepts himself, flaws and all, and can live a normal life without trying to be someone he isn’t.

I loved this movie. I loved the theme of accepting yourself and your flaws. Yet, I’m determined to make my son stop sucking his thumb. My sweet little guy has been sucking his thumb since before he was born. I actually have an ultrasound picture of him with his thumb in his mouth. At the age of 3 weeks, he figured out how to get that thumb up to his mouth and suck on it when he was sleeping and he instantly slept through the night. What new parent wouldn’t LOVE to have a baby sleep through the night at 3 weeks old? I’ve never had a problem with his thumbsucking and have always lived by the theory that “it’s not like he’s going to go away to college sucking his thumb”. He sucks his thumb when he’s tired, when he’s feeling insecure, and for some reason when we’re in the car. Random people have stopped me in Target (because I always seem to be at Target) and would tell me that I needed to stop his thumbsucking right away! They say thist with such urgency, like national security depends on it… I generally get annoyed with people who decide they should approach me and tell me how to parent my child so those conversations didn’t tend to go very well. Unfortunately, now I DO think that it’s time for him to stop. He is almost 6. He’ll be starting 1st grade next year and shows absolutely NO sign of slowing down on that thumb.

We have started putting bandaids on his thumb as a reminder not to suck it during the day. The second he gets home from school he tears that thing off and sucks his thumb like it’s the most delicious lollipop he has ever had. He said that he doesn’t want to stop sucking his thumb and doesn’t care if the other kids give him a hard time. I care – it kills me to think of him being ostracized for this habit that is really his main source of comfort. I know I should leave it alone and let him stop on his own, but his dentist said that unless he stops by the age of 6 or so, he’s going to start having dental issues. So I’m torn – should I let him figure this out on his own, or help him change the habit now before it becomes even more ingrained? Even if he did go to college sucking his thumb, as long as he is ok with it, shouldn’t I be?